Tuesday, October 10, 2017

The Ultimate List - As Explained by Leverage

So I had to deal with this really bad break up. Not one to waste time, I immediately turned to my oldest, dearest friend: Google. After all, more than 4000 years of civilization should’ve produced a cure, right? Countless generations suffered this fate before me, so the best way to deal with the rejection, the heartache, and that longing to spend the days with a special someone, it should be known by now. It should be Honed and Perfected. And, at a pinch, condensed down to a small pill or a fun little bullet list.
Not so.
Apparently humanity really dropped the ball on this one.
With over a million books and movies about love and relationships, I couldn’t find a single serious effort on how best to un-fall in love. The only thing out there is corny advice on keeping your distance and giving it time. Which begs the question: what have we been up to? Why haven’t we found a few moments to solve the most universal of all human problems?
Still, I was convinced exorcizing heartache could be reduced to a scientific exercise, and I set out to do just that. In fact, I captured my first efforts in a video blog series that I called: How to get over someone in 600 easy steps.
Okay, so I was still wallowing when I came up with that title. Deep down I didn't want to get over her, I just wanted a statement that explained how nonsensical my life had become.
Later I changed the title to: 27 simple steps to happiness…
Still heavy on the sarcasm, true, but definitely a nudge in the right direction.
Anyway, my goals were simple: 1. identify the steps needed to return the love-sick mammalian brain to normal operating parameters; 2. condense these steps down to a single-sheet PowerPoint presentation. (After all, PowerPoint is how the modern hunter-gatherer deals with reality. Creating bullet lists and charts pass for survival skills in our society, and rightly so.)
So why bring this up? Well, due to my more than heroic efforts nobody’ll ever have to suffer this fate again. They can simply follow my list and cure themselves. But before I tell you all about it, let me explain how I got into this mess in the first place. Continue reading...

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