There is nothing more cool than making fun of the innocent, and there is no-one more innocent than me. (Ok, so neither statement is actually true, sue me.) So why not make fun of myself? This is what I thought when I came across a facebook picture taken of me at a wedding I attended last month.
This was one of those deals where someone catches you unawares and immortalizes an expression you never knew you made (you know, that thing where your subconscious basically uses your face to do impressions without you knowing?) Apparently, my subconscious was voicing its opinion about me having missed my calling as a world-weary New York homicide detective.
By my estimation, coming across a picture like that is a scary thing on about 17 levels. A few of these levels being; the realization that people do take pictures of you when you’re not looking, that the gray suit doesn’t actually fit you, and that you have no idea what other expressions your subconscious is experimenting with. Do I look like a serial killer most of the time? Is that where the strange looks come from? Is that why the mailwoman stopped saying hello? Do I smile overly suggestively when I count out change at the supermarket? Is this why cashiers seem so nervous?
On the upside, though, I am finally able to enter a picture in the 2011 ‘Was This Taken at a Wedding or a Funeral?’ photo competition. So, for that thing, fingers crossed. Being a sham world-weary New York homicide detective might still win me a dubious prize.