Monday, November 5, 2012

Leverage on Victorian Era Love

Leverage on Victorian Era Love:

How did people survive in Victorian times?

He tries to imagine writing out a letter long hand with a quill. Perhaps running out of ink and having to wait till Monday to buy more. Then finishing the letter, sealing it, and riding off to some kind of post office in the next town over. Waiting in line. Paying up and trying not to scream when he finds out the last coach left on Saturday and his letter will sit in a sack at the back of the room until next week. After which it will finally start its 5 week journey to his beloved. Who won’t be able to get word back to him before the end of next month. And that’s assuming neither coach gets robbed.

No wonder people died so young!

Strictly for emergencies:
Is it bad form to ask someone with long hair for a hair to floss with??

Questions on life:

Why do we feel, deep down, that balloons are not allowed to touch the ground?


I still remember when they switched internet off at night...

Thursday, October 25, 2012

If not for the book, watch this one for the hair!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Don't worry, calm down, it's almost Monday...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

This thing about shoes – a male perspective

I believe that there is a strong possibility that women have a secret mission. Subconsciously, at least, they feel the need to obtain a single pair of shoes for each day of the year. They may not be aware of this themselves, but ask any woman who owns less than 365 pairs of shoes whether she has enough shoes, and you’ll have your answer.
At least for that year.

But why is this? Ask any man to describe any pair of his girlfriend’s shoes and he’ll draw blanks. This is information we simply do not store. It isn’t useful, it’d be an inefficient use of storage resources. In fact, put a man on a beach for a week in flip-flops and ask him to describe his own shoes back home, and he’ll probably describe a pair he owned in high school. If he describes anything at all. More likely he’ll just run away to find a ball or a monster truck or something. Shoes just cannot hold our attention (barring a few weird guys with sneaker collections, of course.)

It’s a universal truth that most guys own exactly 3 pairs of shoes:

1. His normal shoes.
2. His sports shoes.
3. His previous pair of normal shoes*

*) this pair is never worn but he’s afraid to throw them out. In his mind he may need them at some point, perhaps when he has to paint the house or when he loses his current shoes in a freak shoe-related incident. They will be thrown out on the day that a new pair of shoes is finally bought, and his current pair becomes his previous pair. It will be like a changing of the guards.

Read the rest [and play the shoe game] here...

Thursday, September 20, 2012

This Week's Questions

So far, being alive is probably one of the most complicated things I’ve attempted. In fact, all the other complicated things seem to stem directly from it. Even today, many years after my (alleged) birth, strange and worrying questions keep arising. Here is the list of things I could use some help with this week. If you have any answers for me, just jut them down in the comments below:

- Ever look up and feel that one of the clouds was coming for you?

- I'm not entirely sure that my belly button is in the middle.
What can that mean?

- Just before I look under my bed, I always get a little cold feeling, as if part of me expects to find something staring back at me. I've probably seen too many Hollywood movies to have any hope of ever cultivating a healthy relationship with the underside of my bed.

- I live with the constant fear that I'll suddenly become allergic to air and die.
Other than that, I'm quite an optimistic person.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Free sequel to No Hope for Gomez!

For a limited time only, get a free sequel to the award winning No Hope for Gomez! with the purchance of any of my novels.

This sequel is not available anywhere else.

No Hope for Gomez (paperback)
Unspent Time (paperback)
Unspent Time (Kindle)
Unspent Time (other eBook formats)

Simply forward your receipt to to register for your free copy.

Unspent Time reviews:
‘A wonderful collection of stories taken out of the creative mind of Graham Parke. It was different, unique and a lot of fun.’ Reader’s Favorite

’Witty and sarcastic at times, and serious at others, which makes for an altogether interesting and engaging read.’ Haley, top Amazon reviewer

No Hope for Gomez! reviews:
’This book is different from any other book I have read. The way the author speaks through his characters and builds up suspense is really intriguing.’ Bridget, Top B&N reviewer.

’Parke’s debut novel melds screwball comedy, hipster-style irony, and an old-fashioned unreliable narrator into a quirky whodunit that challenges our perceptions about how we think and interact with the world around us. ’ Kirkus, Best of Indie 2011.